How do you approach someone you love who you think is suffering from depression?

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becksby87 asked:


I think someone i love is clinically depressed but when i have tried to approach him about it in the past he gets very defensive. He has told me before he is depressed but i am afraid to bring it up or ask questions. He thinks only crazy people see psychologists, even though he knows i have seen one before. How can i get him to talk about it without him thinking i am attacking him or calling him a crazy person?

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10 Responses to How do you approach someone you love who you think is suffering from depression?

  1. Terry T says:

    its all about timing. their are certian times when people will listen. You must find that time.

  2. amy says:

    Is this your father / boyfriend / brother? That makes a difference in how to approach them.

  3. lttlbt22 says:

    try councelling first then and themn he can move into higher help just be respectful maybe explain how you feel in a nice loving manner

  4. klynbo2 says:

    call a therapist and get the therapist to approach them

  5. Casey says:

    God, that’s a toughie–but I applaud you for trying to get him help. You know and I know that all sorts of people see psychologists, but it’s obviously not getting through to him. Is there anyone who you know who has seen a shrink? Maybe you could tell him that person’s story, to show him that not all people who need therapy are crazy.

  6. That is a touchy sub. with people…A lot of people are depressed in the usa..If you go to a shrink you will see workers coming in their uniforms, from all walks of life..Maybe you could send this person a hand-out on depression, if it is bad enough it can kill you..It affects you mentally and physically. Maybe call the hot line and see how professionals would advise you…If you are worried it couldn’t hurt….

  7. Tom says:

    Start by talking about some of the fun things you two shared.Then gently ask him/her whats wrong. Go easy..

  8. rubyred says:

    people suffering from depression often get to the point where they are unbearable. they just can’t help themselves anymore. you have spoken to him about this and now he does not want to listen. if i were you, i would get another friend and you and your friend help this man physically and get him to a hospital where they specialize in treating illnesses such as depression.

  9. Lisa S says:

    This is a really good question. I have suffered from depression and bipolar most of my life. During my lowest point, I knew something wasn’t right, but for some reason, I just didn’t think it was depression. I thought it was just a “phase” that I was going through and that I’d get better with time.

    I also responded quite defensively as you said your loved one did. That’s never an easy subject to bring up, especially if he actually is depressed and is in a fragile state. For me, I had to hit rock bottom in order to get myself help (despite my family telling me that something was definitely wrong for months.) That may be the case with him as well.

    But if you do decide to approach him about this, try taking a more scientific approach to it. If he thinks “only crazy people see psychologists,” make sure he knows that depression is not a personality flaw or something that *he* has done wrong. Instead, let him know that this is a disease (just like cancer or diabetes) and he should address it with his doctor.

    Also tell him that depression is a result of an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. You can find out a lot more about the physiological affects of depression and how it effects the brain online (which might help with the stigma of being labeled as “crazy.”) He also doesn’t necessarily need to see a psychologist right off the bat–his regular doctor can address this initially, but then he or she may recommend he see someone who has in-depth knowledge of these meds, etc.

    Hope this helps!

  10. LIz says:

    This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
    Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, for FREE

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